Protective Girls !

If I don’t, you don’t !

You approach a girl hanging out with her girl friends wanting to strike a conversation. And research has proved that men are goal oriented (while women process oriented), so we start visualizing that moment of magic a bit too soon(don’t wander to much now!). You muster all the courage to go out there and put everything on the line! You know what I mean ala Douchebag?  And you introduce yourself in ever so glorious terms, pull out some of your best humour and then you look at those pouting lips and picture pearls drop off that mouth and  then you duh!!! hear this unexpected voice, let’s stay with the same analogical pattern and say stones impinging your ears, actually muted stones. You see one of her friends whispering something into your beautiful lady’s ears and off they go out of sight, actually out of your life! Drenched in that melocholily din of despair, we utter a few good things about that girl who spit stones and then go about doing whatever!!  

You keep staring at this girl in the bar, she looks at you. You feel happy, almost ecstatic with the fact that you have finally established a contact with a pretty girl in the club. So then you go through all your pick-up lines in your head and all the great things which could happen in due course and you go up there almost drunk and exuberant with all the thoughts ….and then doinnnnk!!! You hear a voice crystal clear over all the club music ‘Hey Melissa lets go blah blah blah “! Her girlfriend comes crashing in. She wants to dance just freaking then with this beautiful girl and she pulls the thing of beauty away, from not you  (well…. from you that’s redundancy isn’t it) but from those could have happened awesome things. Sometimes it gets so frustrating (BTW not a good thing to do in a club), that you have to pacify yourself saying,” Glad, I atleast didn’t waste my money in buying her a drink” or again be the ala douchebag and magnify the ephemeral happiness of having bought a girl a drink. Mind you it’s just the hand of God which saves you from that predicament.

On a bus and you are thanking your stars for that beautiful girl sitting across you. You go through your rituals of How to start? Your humourous lines? Gauging what kind a girl she could be? And then you notice the unnoticeable…..The big protective lioness!!!! Snarls and Grrrrrs how can you not! The next thing you know you’re getting off that bus at a bus stop you haven’t planned to get off at. So much for all that!!!

Dabbe pe Dabba and then you figure out few things. Firstly, if you find a girl alone chances are she’s already been found and then if you find a girl in a group there’s bound to be this protective lioness friend around. So after careful thought you figure out Facebook is the best place to make contact….unfortunately to your dismay!

I wanted to break the ice with this girl and chose the best of lines to start of the conversation. I waited impatiently for something to happen. I go through the entire check list.

• Appropriate…..check
• Affable…………..check
• Humourous …..check
• Right then I see that a friend has liked my comment…I thought to myself Sweeeeet! – self ingratiating.
• Everything ……..check

Hold on……..did I check if there were any protective girlfriends around….NO CHECK.

Dang it! and before I realized I had to undergo all the snarls and growls for presumably making trivial something which was so serious that it wasn’t to be talked about but could be on facebook!!! And then all you get is a lousy don’t mind my friend’s outburst message.

We wish so many things from a girl…I guess Id wish they came with a Beware Protective Girlfriends around board!

I was having an eccentric conversation with a friend of mine on this and he seems to be infinitely optimistic about this situation. He compared this to a Rorschach situation…”we see what we want to see”. He advised me to change the word protective into possessive lol…’cause he felt the other girls were jealous! ROFL!

P.S:- Yes, some or more of these incidents are not hypothetical and you might actually know some of the characters involved. I am sure there are protective boyfriends too and it would be hilarious if someone more competent puts across that point of view.

Photo courtesy:- http://www.pnl.gov/science/highlights/highlight.asp?id=125 (Yes molecules and chemicals ….Hell Yeah ! I knew it was in the blood !)